Thursday, June 5, 2014

Be A Jerk On Twitter (aka What Not To Do)

Everyone likes to think of themselves as a decent person.
But...well, are you, really?
Let's double-check the definition:

Screenshot for "define:decent" in Google.com
But, if there are so many "decent people" out there, why is Twitter filled with trolls?
Maybe it's time to give up the fight.
Here is our (tongue in cheek) guide to being a jerk on Twitter:

1.  Doubt those who are different. 
Seeing things from others' point of view is for sissies. And Nobel Peace Prize Winners.
Shower insults upon people who do not share your gender identity,
ethnicity, politics, hometown, or favorite ice cream flavor. Explain the error of their
ways in great detail--this is always appreciated.

2.  Troll social activist hash tags. 
The next time you see a hash tag like #YesAllWomen taking off,  jump in to
denigrate the participants. 
Bonus points if you have no idea what the hash tag is about.

3.  Ignore people who re-tweet and follow you. 
If they're smart, they should be doing this anyway, right?

                                                                            It's all good.
4.  Expect responses right away. 
So you just tweeted a celebrity and they haven't tweeted back? 
Give them a good, oh,  five minutes before blasting them...
ten minutes if you're feeling generous.

5.  Be incoherent. 
Hey, it just has to make sense in your head, not on the screen.  Do misspell and shorten words
past the point of comprehension.  Master esoteric tweets like, "My icecream son weep funny. You suk lol. #uphigh"
Sprinkle those masterpieces with curse words for extra "spice".

 Remember, this is only a start.  There are plenty of other ways to be a jerk on Twitter, and
we may share more of them in a future post...if we feel like it.

Do you have any Twitter pet peeves? If so, share them in the comments below.

is a cross-collaborative initiative where Tarleton State University students, faculty, and staff organize an annual social media conference and produce a peer-reviewed social media research journal. Follow us on Twitter and Facebook. for the latest social media news, research, and more.

Yvonne is a TSMRI co-director and librarian
who likes old movies and new media.

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